Daniel Craig turning ya down for a mortgage for the second time.

Dead ☠️

Sorry I’ve been neglecting Twitter a bit, lads. My list of Shit That Needs Done is soul suckingly long.

The FUCK?! 🤣🤣😂 via Niamh Begley

“Tell me, Clarice. Have the lambs stopped screaming?”

Kindness. Empathy. Understanding. Sense of humour. Not being a dickhead.

If Macron was quoted on the front page of French newspapers as saying “Just let people die” there’d be a storm on the Élysée Palace.

*passes spliff*

Gougane Barra, today. Bit of a show off.

I got a two glasses of wine in Glengarriff today for €2.60 each. I think it was a mistake but fuck me, you could see me smiling from Jupiter.

Not even if it was free, babes.

Fucking DELIGHTED. Proud of you all.

Fuck me, we’ve not only gone back in time, but we’ve gone back in time to be wrong. Life choices, eh.

“What’d happen if we put a fucken mentalist in charge? Shur fuck it, let’s find out. For the craic.”

“Like” is doing a fair bit of heavy lifting here. England is run by psychopaths.

Swear, if aliens abducted me, I’d be like “Do you want the earth for yourselves? Do you want to eradicate human beings? I’ll help you! We’re shit heap parasites and this is your Tesco metro. I’m happy to turn on my own species to help you. Fuck humans. Button their arseholes.”

Ya see, the thing about human beings is, generally, we’re not very clever.

And again.