i told my dad about my breakup and he was like 'the clash broke up, too'

She made a little theater😍… yes, we take Only Murders in the Building quite seriously in this household

When's the next loan payment due?

'Celebrities who don't use my platform have directly hurt our revenue by ~X% and cost us billions. We are thinking about suing'

had a long day at the bad thoughts factory

Me (leaping atop my desk, Dead Poets Society style): I too, had sex with Barack Obama in 1999

Sometimes you just gotta grab life by the horns and say “hey. Leave me alone. Stop being so mean”

I'm like one bad day away from ordering one of those mini dollhouse kits

1800's ship captain: This expedition will be the most dangerous undertaking and we all may well perish on the journey. We should bring a monkey with us. It will live in my room.

likely thing for a paul mescal joint to be

You must be joking with this reply. Truly. Because babe…in what world do police officers ever put their lives on the line for others? They also make plenty of money… like literally WUT is this response?

Yeah I’m happy for her that she’s ultimately cool with it, but I’ve been in these relationships before and they suck, so unless he finds me literally mesmerizing, I don’t want him.

girl

You know he did something deplorable if his PR team is trying to slander Sansa Stark like this… also, receipts that this narrative is a lie…

x.com/kattenbarge/st…

If you enjoy criticism of religion with dick jokes, do I have an underwhelming time for you. Won’t you join us, friends?open.spotify.com/show/6PmdZQvSb…

The mesmerizing power this film holds should be studied,tbh… literally hypnotic, like I thought about it (at length)… years after my initial watch. JBone - #VoteYes Are we leaving Bird app or no? once again? A testament to the power of Aussie culture 🥰❤️❤️❤️

Feeling like a leader as I wolf down orange chicken and chow mein in my 2009 toyota corolla parked outside Panda

Hbd king 🥰

NOW: Henry 'Enrique' Tarrio is sentenced to 22 YEARS in prison and 36 mos. supervised release.

I look forward to fall every year, but the years when we get a new Mike Flanagan joint are 🤌🏼 top tier

Kelly consults a statute and declines to enhancement for obstruction of justice charge; He notes offense level 36; crim history category 6, puts Tarrio at guideline sentencing range of 324 mos-405 months, or 27 YEARS to 33 years.
Govt asked for 33.