This is why I can’t walk into ACE Hardware…

🎄🍻🥃😂

Merry Christmas!🎄🎁

If you think you’re going out of this house dressed like that, young lady, you’re sorely mistaken. 🐶📰

Message received, loud and clear 🤣😂

RIP Suzanne Somers.

Hot Take: You have 8 hours to teach my kids. If you can’t get it done within that time frame, wait until tomorrow.

I have 4 hours with them after they get home, and I’m not wasting it on homework. Family time and “real life” are more important.

Been using it wrong all this time!

This will NEVER get old 🤣

I hope they have enough drugs to make it through…

I cannot believe Bob Barker lived as close to 100 as possible without going over.

RIP Bob Barker 🙏

Life Hack #1 and Life Hack #2 💪😏

finishing a bowl of cap’n crunch on a friday night, after knockin back 8 beers, leaves me wondering how the rest of you peasants are living

Whoah, pump the breaks Elon Musk. Now you’ve gone too far. I take pleasure in blocking idiots. What’s next, participation trophies? 😡🏆