Me: why does my back hurt all the time?

also me sleeping every night :

@Twitter Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it

That was fleeting

I don't mind at all having to pay taxes when the poor can't. What really pisses me off is having to pay taxes when the rich won't.

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Like this tweet if, as a woman, you’ve walked home with your keys in your hand in case you need to use them in self defence. If you’ve faked being on the phone as you walk past the man coming towards you. If you’ve changed your route. If you’ve started to run in fear.... 1/2

No shame in changing your mind.

You should be loyal to the best information, not your old opinion.

The two richest people on Earth are trying to leave the planet not fix the planet.

IF I SAY GOODNIGHT AND AN HOUR LATER YOU SEE ME ONLINE IT'S NOT THAT I LIED, IT'S JUST THAT I FAILED

Why do people *want* South Africa to fail?

You live here, dude.

“Don’t kid yourself” would be a perfect slogan for birth control pills.

ur weird as hell if ur one of those people like 'i hate cats.' whats ur problem bud. they literally have little paws

the trending tab is useful if you want to see a bunch of tweets from people using a hashtag to ask why the hashtag is trending

Memes are the billionaires' kryptonite

Who let the #DOGE out?

Who, who, who, who, who?

Reminder that short-and-distort sellers don’t build anything. Companies build things. The people in them build things.

Hedge fund CEO: I lost $3 billion, my company, my home, and now my wife

Me: Have you considered budgeting?

Robinhood: steal from the rich and give to the poor...but not like TOO much

I know this GameStop stuff is funny, but you have to remember this is hurting real people who own multiple boats

Wall Street learning to never mess with the internet