I was describing the Ariel clip to my son in the waiting room of the doctor’s office and another patient chimed in, “then she drank the beer.” 😭

Bay Area ppl! Last minute booking: Tues Oct 18th at the Throckmorton in Mill Valley. I wanted to get a jumpstart on annoying ppl before the ticket link even went live!

I didn’t realize how many guys I slept with until I had to name my son.

Thanks Victor! Go Bucs! (That’s a Milwaukee thing right?)

Carly killed last night at the Shank!

Direct from room 602 at the Hyatt!

Twitter shows me lots of Kil-based accounts and I appreciate that

this seems so much more likely. 5 years from now, we’ll be bitching about having to take iodine pills to prep for a vacation.

Open wound cakes!

weak sauce, just pathetic The New York Times

I just watched a movie which convinced me that all elderly English white people were German children during the war.

When you talk about “brave comedians”, don’t talk about Ricky Gervais finding rude tweets when he vanity Googles himself.

Talk about Ariel Elias, literally dodging a hate crime and making a joke out of it MID-ROUTINE.

Instead of posting all my material, what if I flooded Tiktok with the same joke being told 200 times in different venues.

GOALS:

😭😭😭incredible!