Hey Elon Musk Why don’t you do everyone a favour and sell Twitter to someone who isn’t a cataclysmic, storm-force-10, bellend ?

Everyone down at the Stoke On Trent lawn bowls society is going to be shocked when Craig doesn’t turn up tomorrow morning, and even more surprised to find out he was a racist this whole time. It’s always the ones you least expect.

No, that makes sense actually. If you steal some of those cheap slip-on shoes that old people with gout wear, and then burn the shop down, then there’ll be fewer mosques. It’s left-field but if you smoke enough spice then you can totally see their thought process.

I wonder if ‘brick-in-the-knackers-guy’ still has a bruised chelmet

I’d like to make it clear that I’m only related to Lawrence through marriage.

Yes.

I’d even take a society that stole from libraries and set Crocs on fire rather than the other way round at this point

Can we all go back to agreeing that only a cunt would wear a pair of Crocs again now please.

Elon Musk

Mad to think that just 10 years ago I was saying the worst and most controversial stuff on Twitter and everyone was telling me to be careful or I’d get sued and banned. Fucking state of it now.

I wonder if the inventor of those horizontal, walkway-escalators that you get in airports knew that some cunts would just stand on them. I’d like to see an Oppenheimer-style film about that where he realises what he’s done and blows his fucking brains out/

Twitter is like gazing into the 9th circle of hell now. Like peering down inside the shattered void of Chernobyl’s poisonous and exposed core. Gently pushing your face inside Satan’s jet black pulsating anus.

I’ve given it some thought and instead of running away to Threads to watch people talk about what they’re having for lunch like it’s twitter circa 2010, I’m going to stay here and carry on calling all these these fat far right cunts a bunch of fat far right cunts.

Yeah, but TikTok dances are worse than Monkeypox. That’s like fighting athletes foot by setting cows on fire.

open.spotify.com/track/4B8TP9Pw…

It’s not going to feel the same with Richard Madeley and Suella Braverman on rhythm section but apparently that isn’t putting people off.

Get into my extremely long and loud music open.spotify.com/artist/0p86SyM…

A very touching gesture lads but I reckon 8:45 - 9:00am would have been tribute enough to all those who lost their lives. No need to go mental Marriott Hotels