Johnnyboi you got the Ukraine flag in your profile shut up sia

Muka Zuhairi sua hilang itu sinar lebaran. Aku dah gelisah. Halfway dah garuk tengkok, nak balik! 😂

Adakah mereka betul-betul bermastautin di negara orang atau mereka hanya cabin crew on layover? Wallahualam. #ucapanraya #tipudayadunia

Makciks will only ask you the “bila nak kahwin” question if she sees that you have marriage potential. Kalau dia tak tanya, maknanya dia pun tahu kau sendu so takyah nak step offended at something that will never happen.

Kadang-kadang ada baiknya sesetengah mak bapak kita ni “bodoh teknologi”. Jadi tak menyenyeh yang bukan-bukan kat social media 24 jam. 😂

I miss going to hospitals and seeing metal boxes whoosh by through the tracks on the ceiling and disappearing into a wall.

Wah, some people really take their sahur nutrition seriously eh? That’s good lah. A friend posted sahur consisting of dates, avocado, hard boiled eggs, yoghurt. I’m watching the IG story sambil hirup kuah asam pedas mak aku masak untuk buka semalam.

That picture…is a choice.

Padahal dia tahu dia masak sedap.

Lah, TIBERRRR

Happy Birthday to everyone born today!
Happy Birthday to everyone born today!
Happy Birthday to everyone born today!
Happy Birthday to everyone born today!

Kesian korang, tiap empat tahun je orang wish birthday. Aku dah wish empat kali tu, use it sparingly ya.

Aku tengok muka kau senyum cam gitu hati aku makin panas tau Sun Cheah. Hamas propagana numbers kakak kau peh laki.

Nobody talked about Arun’s elder brother who’ve been giving him money to buy the penknife to vandalise Samuel’s books, bag and table.

And at the principal’s office the three HODs and the Principal dismissed the bullying case. Why? Cause must be neutral. Reputation of school leh.

That is a Gardenia wrap, kau jangan tipu aku.

Reminder that we live in the tropics so wash your hair everyday. Kau jangan nak step ikut omputih and wash every three days aku diri sebelah kau and kau punya kepala sua bau kepam kau jangan disgusting sial.

Our currency may be three times stronger but their stupidity is tenfold.

Mana kau nak dapat perdana menteri yang memberi galakan kepada rakyat untuk lebih berjimak?