If my wife and I did a cooking show it would just be her telling me I'm in the way.

Viewed a flat in the most idyllic location today. Never mind opening your curtains in the morning to the hills, THIS is a view 😍

Editor: “please check the proofs carefully as this is the last opportunity to correct errors before publication”

Academics: “yeah, looks sweet 🤘”

To the tune of YMCA…

if you don’t have homemade, store-bought is fine.

There's someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I've taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else's

Hi Cadbury UK, hear me out

Tripledecker

oh:(

Finally, some decent inspo

Excellent name for a butty van this

I’ve never met a windshield wiper speed that understands me.

MERLIN: bravo arthur you have removed sword from stone and thus are king
ARTHUR: what why
MERLIN: it says it right there on the rock
ARTHUR: but who even put that there
MERLIN: i did

ARTHUR: i dont want to be king
MERLIN: dont be a shit arthur this was very fiddly to arrange

there is a 94 year old who makes tik toks about dating as a widow in her 90s, and she goes, 'last year this guy ghosted me (guy became a ghost)' ...

it’s getting warmer….

📚 COVER REVEAL 📚

THE HALF OF IT cover is finally here! My baby is all dressed up and ready to go!

So thrilled to be able to share with you the cover of my book, which is available for pre-order now ahead of release on 4th July: lnkfi.re/nf0upC 🥳📕💗🎉

*MUAH*

This is Bear. He's devastated that, despite his best efforts, he doesn't fit on this chair. Please respect his privacy during this trying time. 13/10

Ryszard Kaja (16 January 1962 – 17 April 2019)
Dachshund poster