Souvenirs are great because you'll spend the rest of your life remembering that vacation every time you try to convince yourself to throw it away.

HEARTWARMING: Billionaire John Hammond just agreed to fund Dr. Sattler and Dr. Grant's dig for a further three years.

Gold medal-winning gymnasts+ swimmers: "That's why I choose Visa..." Obscure sport gold medal winner: "When I have diarrhea, I turn to Immodium..."

Oh my god

"Cars" is Pixar's laziest franchise and it doesn't deserve *one* ride, let alone an entire land.

Stan (Eminem, 2000)

Will it stream on Sundays?

Come to Twitter, where advertising is THRIVING

Fun fact: Chicago icon Roger Ebert had a very important role in making Oprah a national icon. TV changed forever because they went on a date. rogerebert.com/roger-ebert/ho…

Ah, so that's where they got the idea for the attack in "Nope." #ChimpCrazy

Kamala: We must eliminate chest-bursting aliens. Trump: Destroy woke with tax cuts for Weyland-Yutani!

In another Boeing coincidence, it was found with two bullets in its head and a suicide note nearby.

This is the only alien I've seen eat a cat.

"Do you have a plan?" "I have a *concept* of a plan."

TV news producer insight: The most notable moment was that David Muir had a prewritten fact check about the "immigrants eating pets" meme... ...which means someone at ABC wondered if that batshit lie would be said out loud and the newsroom agreed, "Yes. He's that crazy."

If you slightly slow Trump's voice, he sounds like every guy at the bar at closing time.

happy anniversary to those who celebrate

Lovingly opening my infant's baby book to write about the cultural milestones of 2024: - Hawk Tuah - Shannon Sharpe's IG live