im setting myself apart from the pack (telling every girl at the bar i “just moved here from the jungle”)

no. he is having baby ❤️

FUCK

im pitting my doctors against each other like divorced parents. tellin my dentist that the podiatrist said i can have sugar cubes

damn only 1 bookmark.. y’all really arent jackin it to me huh

(Tearing up when its my turn in the rap battle) I hate you I hate you I hate you

if i had a wife id give her a 12 dimensional love letter thatd drive her to the depths of madness

lol nice try but thats the tickle monster

japan thanks for a lovely visit but i’ve decided not to purchase your country

how my 30 yr old friend talks to me

could not handle being in the secret service. just standing in the corner while joe biden has a 4 hr meeting with the oven

funny how girls can have a whole ass peloton bike in their bedroom but i can’t have a giant cross with a real guy on it

i like to think it took 12 highly trained men to steal my kia soul. but in reality it was probably like 10 at the most

'Jimmy and Baby' animated short film (20 min) is now online.
By Paul Robertson Paul Robertson & Michelle Larney coolgirlonline.
>> youtube.com/watch?v=zFbJ94…

hey dude can u watch my laptop while i go into witness protection

worst part about my car getting stolen is i cant stop muttering shit like “we will rebuild”

hate seeing a child on horseback like how did u two even meet

guy who stole my kia soul i hope u never feel fulfilled creatively