“I think Steve Bannon has learned his lesson”
-Susan Collins, probably

Idk why everyone is always dunking on Kevin Sorbo about being washed up. He plays Col. Trautman in this art house indie film which raised approx $0 on its indiegogo. To be fair, they have yet to cast Rambo. If only there was a strong alpha male attached 😔

indiegogo.com/projects/hope-…

Prison was sentenced to 4 months of Steve Bannon.

Fuck Amy Coney Barrett as a staff, a record label, and as a motherfuckin crew

It’s sad that in a few years we’re going to be looking back on Herschel Walker as one of the more cerebral members of the GOP

Relax your jaw.

Kid Rock makes music for people who know exactly how much you can shoplift from Wal-Mart without being chased by a loss prevention officer

John Oliver was right and Republicans are stupid.

Knicks knicking in mid-season form. You hate to see it.

One voter on the winner of each of these jokes will win Val Demings merch of their choice, up to $50 with shipping on me. Campaign is NOT affiliated with the hilarity.

store.valdemings.com/collections/fr…

Also: Will follow back new follows and funny answers.
🧵 below!

#ValDemings4Senate

I've been 'Maine sober' (haven't done cocaine off a Stephen King book) for 30 days

Omar Rivero and Occupy Democrats are liars and grifters, once again.

Relax your jaw.

Texas GOP logic: “Instead of putting out these fires, we’re handing out dustpans for the ashes. Good luck out there tho”

nbcnews.to/3eMF28o

Republicans want you to think masks traumatized kids in schools, but active shooter trainings and providing DNA kits for identification purposes are totally normal.

Where are all these drag shows that Republicans are saying we frequent with our kids?

Anyone unfamiliar with #QuestloveSupreme should get familiar ASAP - excited to listen to the new Questlove Supreme episode with Stacey Abrams ⤵️