“They’ll say we’re disturbing the peace, but there is no peace. What really bothers them is that we are disturbing the war.” Howard Zinn 1971

the first time i ever had a panic attack i was smoking weed talk about blunt force trauma

My emotions™️
7am: Today I’ll be more positive
10am: I hate my job, the sun and myself
Lunch: ok I think I overreacted
5pm: another stupid day is over
8pm: if I get enough sleep I’ll be fine
12am: [crying] I hope aliens destroy earth

[time traveling to 1914]
me: wow i can't believe i'm witnessing world war I
soldier: why are you calling it that
me: haha i mean just the one war. a single war. no other wars coming.

goodnight forever

[slipping DJ $20] my good sir would you turn it down a skooch

like this tweet if you love smoking marijuanna on april 20th. i am not a cop.

taylor swift has always been cringe

guess who just got fired. the big man at merriam webster didnt like me sneaking in my own ideas for words. not very pompsh of them. not very pompsh at hocklorp

when i call you babe i mean like the pig

the worms will NOT care about how many wrinkles u have when they see ur delicious corpse in the dirt they will be sooo excited to host a feast with all their friends. u will be the most special guest at the worm dinner party and it’ll all be ok♥️

[me showing my caveman around]
ME: it's called a dog. it's like a wolf but friendly.
BOOG: [brandishing a club] Boog smash?
ME: no Boog we don't smash dogs

I’ve shenanned before… and I’ll shenanigan

tax day!!! it's an absolute privilege to pay tens of thousands of dollars in taxes so that the united states can afford bombs while i can barely get medical care and will never afford a home

when i remember to bring my tote bags to the grocery store

museums are so boring, let me ride the dinosaur skeleton

The weekend is not enough. I need the world to END.

i dont have time for this

sitting to get my portrait drawn by a caricature artist with a loaded gun in my lap

should i airdrop this to the pilot on my flight