If Fleetwood Mac opened a coffee shop, it would be called Fleetwood Macchiato: You Can Foam Your Own Way

"We take care of our employees," companies say during this difficult economic time, "which is why instead of inflation-adjusted wage increases, there's coffee, donuts and all-staff appreciation emails.

One day we'll be a bunch of old geezers talking about AOL chat rooms.

The Mondayest Friday is still 1000x better than the Fridayest Monday.

I make up songs in my head about my coworkers when I’m bored.

Coffee gives me that extra boost for a full day of telling people how tired I am.

My friend’s grandson called me sigma and I believe my work here is done folks

that gap on my resume is when we moved from two spaces after a period to one

i couldn’t be involved in an exorcism bc as soon as the demon starts talking shit and roasting me my feelings will get hurt and i’ll leave.

I hate the letter Q Like OHhHh lOoK At mE I'm so QuiRkYyy You're an O with a dick GROW UP ALREADY

I'm thinking of starting a cult, in order to join you need to lend me a pencil, you will not be getting it back

Some of those right wing influencer posts were the crême de la Kremlin.

I bet the worst part about being single is not wearing matching outfits with someone

I’m in a bad mood and watching my husband load the dishwasher incorrectly. What could go wrong

*me after thinking about working out* that was exhausting, time for a treat

For me the weirdest thing about Starbucks is you can look around the store and see only adults, then go to the coffee station to add milk/sugar and somehow you just missed a toddler

Why is it that when you tell someone your birthday they have to tell you everyone they know who’s birthday is in and around that same month?

I asked my French visitor if their dog was nervous. They said "mais oui," so I put down some waterproof sheets.

I firmly believe that every person over the age of 30 should have the following... ✅A Savings Account w/ 100 dollars. ✅ A car with 100k miles on it. ✅ A favorite order at the local Chinese Restaurant ✅ A passable impression of at least 1 Simpsons character.

My blood test came back positive. It's 100% coffee.