I’ve realised that Jurgen Klopp is actually a better football manager than Sir Alex Ferguson ever was

What does a Bengali call an annoyed wife?

Irritable Bow-er Syndrome

“fancy a black snot trip?”

Between Ramaswamy, Sunak, Patel, Javid, Braverman - you actually see this idea of “model minority” play out in a quite remarkable way. It’s embarrassing but not entirely surprising - South Asians, overwhelmingly, tend to be pretty conservative…

I hate Liverpool FC and their fans but I actually forgot how annoying Arsenal fans are the moment they’re half decent.

They’re actually more insufferable now than the halcyon days when it was a begrudging delight to watch the likes of Henry, Bergkamp, Pires

I’m absolutely astounded that the player who plays for Arsenal currently said he’d pick the player who plays for Arsenal currently and NOT a rival team currently

They’re going to embalm Saka and stick him in the trophy cabinet are they?

I feel sorry for the person whose job it is to put sugar in those long thing sachets. Mad hard that.

It’s funny how even in comedy, like the industries I’ve worked in before (banking/govt etc.) - there’s a subliminal notion of the “right kind” of Brown or Black person.

The difference in comedy, though, is that it’s possible to cultivate your own audience away from the cliques

While I’m away for 2 weeks, who wants to do my website for me? Make it all nice and stuff? And easy to upload my show dates?

Coming soon?

There is a lady with child on this train that has appointed herself the judge of who is more deserving of a seat, after she loudly proclaimed she had a child and pushchair, forcing a man to move for her.

That man. Is partially sighted.

Now do Glasto, ya daft twat

I’m a United fan and I fucking hate Liverpool FC and hated the racist biter but…

Suarez was actually different gravy

You know what’s hilarious? The voices who spend the whole year shouting about POC and representation have barely said a PEEP about the Asian clean sweep at the Fringe this year.

You know why? Because their concern is their FOC - Friends of Colour.

UP THE BROWNS 👳🏾‍♂️

Go see Ignacio he is very funny and handsome

Liverpool FC play in the 2023/24 Champions League

August ✅

So does English:

Friend
Pal
Mate
Fella
Geeza
Fucker
Cunt