Penalty to Bayern. We have a game on our hands.

Leroy Sane should've opted to play for Senegal bwana.

Bwana that CBS team of Kate Abdo, Henry, Carragher and Richards are being paid to have fun in studio. Listen to Micah: 'If you snooze, you lose, when Kroos, decides to choose, a pass to Vinicius, the Vicious.'

Yvonne Okwara should be a Formula 1 driver. It's just the Formation Lap and Kipchumba Murkomen is already huffing and puffing.

Remember the day Gachagua forced the Kenya Met Dept to apologize for accurately predicting the weather because Ruto had stood at a public platform the previous week and said his own things? Let's pray for all professionals working under this regime. It's not easy.

NEWS JUST IN: DCI officers have arrested NCPB MD Joseph Kimote, Marketing & Operations Manager John Matiri, Corporation Secretary John Ngetich over the fake fertilizer scandal. Someone call Mithika Linturi and tell him the floods are gathering.

Wherever you will be on Thursday, just ensure you clear your diary, because Hon. Opiyo Wandayi, EGH says things are about to go down. Bwana those coming from Meru town tomorrow could you kindly carry for us a pickup of Miraa on your way down? You will go to heaven straight.

BREAKING NEWS

The following are the Members of Parliament who have signed on the motion to impeach Agriculture Minister, Franklin Mithika Linturi.

The motion, sponsored by Bumula MP Jack Wamboka, was tabled on the floor of the House this afternoon.

1. Jack Wanami Wamboka,

NEWS JUST IN: Nairobi City Senator Edwin Sifuna declares that you can not pickpocket a naked man, and if you're in doubt ask Chelsea fans.

Bwana someone find Christine Mungai and give her my Malaria vaccine.

Those asking why we're replacing ID cards before resettling the homeless flood victims, we'd love to inform you that 2027 we must win by a landslide - pun intended.

NEWS JUST IN: Kisumu Governor Prof Peter Anyang' Nyong'o has appointed Former ICT Principal Secretary PS Jerome Ochieng, CBS as the Minister in charge of making Kisumu the real Europe of Africa. On behalf of the people of Seme, we have escorted the people of Nyakach with two bags of guavas.

The Deputy President went to take photos at the Mai Mahiu flood tragedy site for his social media team to trend, before flying out to his warm duvet in Karen leaving the victims to remove rotting bodies of relatives using their bare hands. Next time, vote wisely.

'One night, in the smoky hut of Aketch, the second wife of the Great Chief Odero Gogni of Yimbo, a baby was born. It was 30 seasons before the great snaking metal of Jorochere, the white people, reached the bartering market of Kisuma.'

President William Ruto has called for an emergency cabinet meeting tomorrow morning. Who among the following Cabinet Secretaries will be called out for incompetence? VOTE WISELY.

NTV have decided to continue with the Lord's work from where Citizen TV left it last Thursday. Everyone is kicking and going.

Philip Omondi, the Climate Scientist at IGAD Climate Centre, is on Citizen TV confirming that we're going to have more drought, 'very frequent and biting.' Your favourite God chosen tourist will ignore the warnings as usual because he can always call on Benny Hinn.

Philip Omondi, Climate Scientist at IGAD Climate Centre, is on Citizen TV confirming they gave accurate prediction in advance to enable Gov't plan early for the floods, but someone had to see people dying first to convene a special cabinet meeting to feign plastic empathy.

They're now calling the owner of the boat that capsized in Madogo, a criminal. But the Kenya Railways big shots who did not unclog the tunnel that led to the Mai Mahiu Massacre will sleep soundly tonight knowing they're covered by the blood of incompetence. Next time vote wisely.