'One night, in the smoky hut of Aketch, the second wife of the Great Chief Odero Gogni of Yimbo, a baby was born. It was 30 seasons before the great snaking metal of Jorochere, the white people, reached the bartering market of Kisuma.'

President William Ruto has called for an emergency cabinet meeting tomorrow morning. Who among the following Cabinet Secretaries will be called out for incompetence? VOTE WISELY.

NTV have decided to continue with the Lord's work from where Citizen TV left it last Thursday. Everyone is kicking and going.

Philip Omondi, the Climate Scientist at IGAD Climate Centre, is on Citizen TV confirming that we're going to have more drought, 'very frequent and biting.' Your favourite God chosen tourist will ignore the warnings as usual because he can always call on Benny Hinn.

Philip Omondi, Climate Scientist at IGAD Climate Centre, is on Citizen TV confirming they gave accurate prediction in advance to enable Gov't plan early for the floods, but someone had to see people dying first to convene a special cabinet meeting to feign plastic empathy.

They're now calling the owner of the boat that capsized in Madogo, a criminal. But the Kenya Railways big shots who did not unclog the tunnel that led to the Mai Mahiu Massacre will sleep soundly tonight knowing they're covered by the blood of incompetence. Next time vote wisely.

Larry Madowo, at ground zero in Mai Mahiu, with his umbrella up helping community go through the rubble, reports that 71 dead by 7pm this evening. Government Spokesman, Isaac Mwaura, was last seen 8hrs ago in Mombasa reporting figures that he received last night via Posta.

You stay in your house, you get teargassed. You ask Gov't to reduce the cost of living, you get teargassed. You're swept away by floods, you get teargassed. You lose property due to Gov't incompetence, you get teargassed. You line up for relief food, you get teargassed.

Someone is going to get mad at Larry Madowo again for exposing Gov't incompetence to the world. The Lord's work must continue, regardless.

Name, not number. It will take the floods to kill only one high profile UDA Gov't official, and there will be three days of national mourning complete with a state funeral.

To all the employers offering relief to distraught employees during these difficult times, may you never lack.

Over there in Embu County, Junior Secondary School teachers have told the Teachers Service Commission (TSC) to take their 17,000 peanuts to Sabina Joy. The UDA Chairperson is the Embu County Governor, and we will be there no matter what.

Over there in Kapsabet Town, Nandi County, Junior Secondary School teachers have told your favourite God chosen tourist to go teach students using Rachel Ruto's prayers. Even in Gov't strongholds, the fear is gone and the floods are gathering.

UDA comms team have been using images of flooded slums to justify Ruto's Affordable Housing Project. Why aren't they suggesting the same to the Kijabe Dam victims, or they've suddenly found a fireside to warm their brains a little?

Ati the Gov't greatest undoing is comms. No, bro. You can't comms your way out of bad governance. And you wonder why the Gov't graveyard is full of former professional journalists now reduced to posting photos of themselves sipping martini and waiting for their retirement.

TikTok is where the revolution will be televised.

Flooded 100 by 100 plot hapo Kamulu.

To finish the job UDA voters and the Bomas Church Choir started in 2022. We must finish the journey no matter what.

Imagine a police officer going to arrest someone crossing a flooded river only to end up being swept away by floods in the ensuing scuffle. They now want to put the lives of the police in danger just to make it good. Next time, vote wisely.