I’ve sort of let most of my hobbies go, but I do love peeling off my biore pore strip, putting on my reading glasses, turning on my tiny flashlight and looking at the teeny weeny trees.

I have my mouth to feed, bills to pay, I can’t support Wikipedia too!!!

I’m scrolling instagram like, “Man EVERYONE is either at an award show or best friends with an octopus. What a fungus I am!”

These doctors just ordered a small pizza to split among 4 people. Disbelief? UNsuspended.

I wish the future (and by the future I mean now) was less ‘living in a numb trans hovering over my phone screen’ and more The Jetsons. Essentially I just want my shower to have little robot arms that wash my hair for me.

A slippery slope to ACV fixes everything.

I never buy them, but I do put Bombas in baskets. They call me Bombasket.

“You just want a phone because all your friends have one” says parent holding a Stanley cup.

I said “Wow, spring has sprung!” today to a friend and I bet he’ll never want to hang out again.

New COLLEGE TOWN! Feat Andy Daly & Lennon Parham!!

Hosted by Jan and Beebo (me & Seth Morris). We talk local theatre and coffee enemas 🤷🏻‍♀️

Produced by Scott Aukerman Brett Morris for Comedy Bang Bang

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Here’s a thing I just said out loud to myself while browsing pjs: “Ew I hate nightgowns. I feel like the only people who wear them are old ladies who are dead or babies who are about to get their heads wet at church.”

(How my brain articulates Norman Bates’s mom and baptisms)

Wild how so many people think the solution to the problem that billionaires are killing art is hoping for more benevolent millionaires.

When actors on a medical drama don’t know to pinch the nose of their surgical mask AFTER A PANDEMIC?! Then one of them runs his gloved hand through his hair after taking it out of a BODY? These people were not Lysol-ing their groceries.

I accidentally bought a bucket hat. Truly, I don’t know what happened. I think they called it something else? But it is so clearly a bucket hat. I really need to stop shopping after taking sleep meds. There are no returns. For the hat but I guess I mean in life, also?

Sometimes I’ll watch a cute baby twins being besties video and think, oh maybe I want a twin, not a spouse. And then the next thought is, oh honey girl you are fuuuuucked.

We talk a lot about the Irish goodbye but not so much about the kind of goodbye where you thought you were walking out with other guests but then you turn around and they are saying more goodbyes and you slowly melt into the darkness toward your car like mist.

New COLLEGE TOWN w Jiavani & Mark McConville!!!

Hosted by Seth Morris & me! (Beebo & Jan)

Talking overly familiar travel agents, hardcore churches, and gong paella! Tune in!

Produced by Scott Aukerman Brett Morris Comedy Bang Bang

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