I hope he starts making bank selling online courses.

Think of the children! No, not those children. No, not them, either. No,

Chasing after her with several hundred chunks of cheese & pineapple

On this day five years ago, ᧔o᧓ combined two popular reaction images to make “Woman Yelling at a Cat.”

Shite Town

At some point it will have been cheaper to not union bust

Excited to announce I’ve been paid $5,000,000 for my new comedy special, “They Won’t Let You Do Comedy Anymore” for a big streamer. It’s shot at an opera house that sits 5,000 cheering fans. My opening bit will be about me being silenced. The rest will be how much I hate my wife

“these college students shouldn’t be protesting!” - guy who is literally a protestant christian

Jessica Stephens chuck 🏔 Are two crows enough by themselves to constitute a murder, or are they just an attempted murder?

They remember the faces of their human enemies, and so do I because I'm a Scorpio.

Infuriated that Jennifer Gunter put out a new book this year and none of you told me about it personally. bookshop.org/p/books/blood-…

This is the most SNL has made me laugh

Every day I get on here and I am attacked viciously and unfairly

1950s sitcoms weren’t documentaries, Billy Boy. bookshop.org/p/books/the-wa…

Do NOT tell me if this is untrue. Just let me have this.