My horny ass could not go to a bris

Bill Gates be like don’t push me cuz I’m close to the Microsoft edge

the unrivaled euphoria of being the baddest bitch at the post office

Bills about to go to collections so in a time honored twitter tradition I am making a GoFundMe, any and all help is very much appreciated and I hope to one day pay the favor back thank you all :) gofund.me/34d78ab0

girls will get one bad haircut and start using they/them

what’s a gooner to a goblin

just sent an email

my fbi agent was moved to tears with how beautifully i sang in the shower this morning

so come on get higher loosen my lips

Hillary Clinton: not me persisting nevertheless

if you have sex with me that’s a body

Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew

*gavrilo princip in 1914* not me sparking the events that will lead to a world war

the european mind cannot comprehend this

What’s your funniest dm request

white hoes will call themselves a pawg even though theyre built like flat stanley

asking my sleep paralysis demon if they’re mad at me

don’t get your knickers in a knot bro

to whomst it may concern

we fuckin on the Microsoft excel bed tn