thought my deli guy asked me “what happened to the american spirit?” and i was speechless until i realized he was asking why i wasn’t buying cigarettes

Submarine life would be amazing as long as there’s no drama

I would never judge anyone for having cellulite because I trust the Bible and its teachings of kindness

Just farted so hard my feet went numb????

Your telling me a Lisa said this gah

Am I in trouble for taking the night off grinding and hustling to watch a television program

I have extremely small lopsided* boobs (because I used to scoop ice cream) and basically everyone still wants to fuck me so stop complaining and get ur ass in the ice cream shop

My RORSCHACH TEST with Interview Magazine is out now…❤️😁 thank you dear emily!! interviewmagazine.com/culture/ivy-wo…

I’ve been awake 70 hours trying to crack this and protect my family’s honor

TOMORROW NIGHT A BAJILLION COMEDIANS WILL APOLOGIZE AT Union Hall GET A TICKET NOW eventbrite.com/e/sorry-hosted… rachel coster

the bechdel test video game actually looks pretty cool

can anyone tell me how to turn off clothes captioning Netflix ??

The problem with reading a book is you can’t flirt with boys on it

I don’t want to go to a wedding until it is mine own to my amazing bf Skrillex

I think we r approaching a political and financial climate bad enough for flash mobs to really make an impact again

You can’t imagine how amazing this show is and will be oh my GOD YES

Last night got messy 😋