🥰👌
open.spotify.com/track/0cfn5OBG…

Not sure if I just saw 2 identical twins being kidnapped.
*double take*

If I needed to call you for cash at 3am to keep the bad men off my back, would you be able to transfer it immediately?

To celebrate National Day of Puppetry I'm giving away slightly damaged marionettes for free...no strings......

🤭

Today is International Sculpture Day. Reminds of the time I was drunk & walked into a statue's arse. It was then I knew I'd hit rock bottom.....🤷‍♂️😊

Almost midnight and I've just realised it's Get Organised Day. Bollocks.

Dates don't have a big impact on me. It's the other little things......like today's been a bit bonkers but this song just came on & it's like being a kid again on a chilled Sunday morning when my dad used to listen to their album 🥰
open.spotify.com/track/5QMFwH4w…

The simple messages are the best.......

Great Footballing Moments.
Archie Gemmill v Holland
June 1978
Commentator David Coleman

No individual should be above the law in any country. The Supreme Court judges hearing the orange fuckwit's case, should've told him to go & fuck himself & stop wasting their time. Instead, political allegiances are clouding what shouldn't even be a debate.

Why does #Masterchef never give you cooking tips that are any good? Like 'don't throw out the cardboard sleeve with the cooking instructions on it'.

Fractions? I'm partial to them.....

Big shout out for International Noise Awareness Day.

The moon in the sky right now 🌛🌝

Went to see a therapist so I can get over my addiction to masturbation. They said they'll help me pull it off.

Post a selfie from your gallery but turn it 🖤&🤍

Today is Denim Day. My family has celebrated it for generations.......it's in our genes.

Angela Rayner......not all heroes wear capes 😊🥰
#PMQs

When I'm trying to get out of a bean bag #ThatsWhenIFeelOld