Got a really cold Bounty stashed.

I do love the first sunburn of the year.

Glencoe Fashion Show in midge season.

Reminds me of when I slipped on the conditioner on holiday in Tenerife and brought the shower curtain down.

This is how we fill our time once retired, it’s fabulous.

Our Chester looks French today, had his hair clipped so I’m conversing in Gallic vernacular, trouble is I only know bonjour, la reglé and Claude.

No clue what I’ll wear for the Met Gala but chances are it will be black or grey, blue will be thrown in if I’ve got jeans on.

I’ve crumbled. Off to the shop for big fat sugary crap. Maybe crisps too, those cheapo ones that are BBQ flavour and look like aliens. Quality.

Healthy eating. Scouring the house for hidden treats. Found a piece of popcorn and an old wine gum down the side of the settee cushions, can’t eat them can I? It’s hard typing with your mouth full.

Stopped at the golf course on my bike to get my daily quota of people moaning at me about the course being too hard 🙃

People who swig straight from the mixing jug, pack it in you scruffy gets.

Gone in heavy on the Yorkshire Salad.

Had a long walk and called in at the cemetery to say hello to my Mam and Dad. Two young blokes buried either side of them, my Dad wouldn’t have died if he knew they would be there, he wasn’t struck on either of them.

Kebabs and fish masala for the win

Just sewn a button on like someone from an Emily Brontë novel.

Put my cross in the Tory box to prove how much I don’t want them.

Got someone’s poster up in my window but I haven’t been to vote. It’s not a real election though is it? Isn’t this just about dogshite on paths and where the Christmas Tree goes on the village green?

Sunburnt and bitten by bugs. Just want the rain back.