Great. Now I have to follow him on instagram too.

Functional training.

One our couches is white. And despite my many vocal objections, it seems to be THE place where the kids want to use their coloring books.

Unpopular opinion, but for the ease of prep and versatility, skirt steak is the best breakfast cut.

This was Kamala’s pitch for veep in 2020.

Poast his and hers.

Woke up in a mood. Should probably stay off the birb today.

I want to boop the little one so bad.

GM, protards. That’s for my frens who proactively or professionally tarded.

I still naively believe in mutual respect. I suspect I’m in the minority here.

Me to CA rep: Would prefer to avoid evening virtual events because when I’m home, I’m home and do the kids’ extracurriculars.

CA rep: [knowing I’m in Florida] Ok, how does 3pm PST work?

Me: I see you put a time zone in there, but I’m not sure you understand how they work…

She gonna double dip Mother’s Day and Grandparents Day?

Kid: I wanna go to grandma’s house.

Mom: We got grandma’s house at home.

Not a fucking ounce of muscle tone. Tracks.

The way it almost fell over as turned reminds me of Lloyd Christmas coming over the hill on the mini bike in Dumb and Dumber.

Just got home from the grocery and managed not to mag dump into any of the 4 people I know were armed.

Where's my pension?

Omw to fix her.