The chicks keep walking towards me and the parents keep yelling at me for it

When I was 18 I was in love with my 32 year old married, chainsmoking coworker. I would’ve waged a war for her

paybacks a bitch huh fritz. having a really hard day personally. nice to see an ounce of justice in this fucking world

Oh I know this one. Uhhhhh

Autistic alcoholic: No, baby, don’t be mad. Drinking is my special interest and puking at our daughter’s ballet recital is how I stim

I don’t think getting backshots is degrading or whatever. All I’m saying is that missionary is clearly the tactical choice

This is the only rap beef I care about

This is what I look like when I’m on the computer

I just found out people with ADHD are stupid. That’s why they seem flaky or distracted, they’re just not as smart as normal people

Finally, the house of cards is falling. Big Pants will try to silence this. Biden, I am calling on you to legalize full frontal porky pigging it in that K-mart.

rt 🔒

No, but all these sexy women keep replying to me offering me nudes. I think I’ll get lucky soon!

The joke in every single one of these is that they are naming glycine firms and I feel like I'm laughing but also sustaining damage somehow

all guys think they want to date the cool hot artsy baddie girlfriend but that's actually not the case at all. they want to date spiders

Hatched? Lunge? Zoosk? What the fuck

so many of y'all are so unfunny & your trauma shows. it's impossible to be funny if bad things happened to you

if the Chinese are propagandizing me then it’s working. they’re so cool