The world would probably be a much nicer place if we all treated everyone as well as drunk girls in the toilets of bars treat each other.

Don’t think I’ll be able to top meeting 4 dachshunds called Gary, Steve, Kevin and Dave in the park a couple of weeks ago, but I just met 2 schnauzer puppies called Sandra and Denise, which came a close second.

'What do we want?'

'Autocorrect to stop making us look stupid by changing simple words in our texts.'

'When do we want it?'

'Not!'

#WorldPenguinDay

#WorldPenguinDay

Pingu (and his family), but they’re all dancing to Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana.

youtube.com/watch?v=cbSsbV…

#WorldPenguinDay

Very excited to have received a copy of Gabby Hutchinson Crouch’s new book! (Look how cool the cover is!)
From reading Gabby’s other books, I’m sure this one will also be an absolute corker! I will now be ignoring my family and all my responsibilities until I have finished reading it.

It's 8 years today since Prince died.
So a reminder again of this, because sometimes sadness can still bring laughter.

Overheard in card shop today.

Assistant: You’ve got 3 cards. If you buy 4, you get 1 free. Anyone else you could get one for? Family? Friend? A neighbour?

Very sweet looking little old lady: Oh, no thank you, dear. I’m not buying one for my neighbour. I hate that old cow.

You wear them that way. Nice. Ok. Oh, you can also just wear them tied round your ankles. Cool. And you…wait…what…what the hell are you doing?! NO! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!

Step On by Happy Mondays, but it's being performed by The Wombles.

Just met 4 dachshunds in the park called Gary, Steve, Kevin and Dave, and my day improved by approximately 659%

Growing up with a brother or sister.
Happy #NationalSiblingsDay !

Tory politicians (past and present) as movie villains (if you got them from Wish)

A Thread.

April Fool’s Day.

A day where you shouldn’t trust anything you read or anything anyone says.

So basically the same as every other day then.

Happy April, Fools.

Sir David Attenborough as Easter Eggs.

A thread.