It's the new MA from Cambridge.

Elon Musk mocking of users will continue until profits improve

banks email like 'Ummmmm we have a MESSAGE for you. In your INBOX' and then the message is like 'Hello we are your bank'

I would love it if James Corden apologised for plagiarising Ricky Gervais by word-for-word repeating the plagiarism apology from Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip.

Not for Bob Peck it wasn’t.

im just asking questions but it appears to be a live possibility that tucker carlson has a 'murder closet' full of the bones of his strangulation victims. also a swanson branded freezer for human hands. im allowed to speculate about the frozen human hands

'...what *sort* of lies do you want to tell?'

These jokes remind me that on The Now Show in 2009 we made up a bunch of rumours about politicians off the back of Damien McBride and Derek Draper's blog, and the phone call where I explained to a BBC lawyer what we wanted to do was one of the most entertaining I ever had.

Amazing.

(in the tavern drunk as fuck on monk beer) i dont give a fuuuuck about grain tithes lol (my lord walks in) but i like paying them. being a serf is sick dude. oh hey lord godfrey.

when it looked like trump was going to ban tiktok there were hundreds of videos of weeping influencers talking abt losing their income but when elon sets on a course to destroy twitter, there are no such videos. that's because twitter posters possess the Will Of The Warrior

SELLING FAST! It gives me great pleasure to tell you that my new tour is selling really well already.
Basically… if you want to come or are already coming and know people that would enjoy… PLEASE BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW to avoid disappointment.
honourabletom.com

Took my kids to their first “grown-up” stand-up show tonight, and what a delight Milton Jones’s Milton: Impossible is. Gloriously silly, do go and see it if you can. Also, excellent support from Tom Houghton, and I’m already being badgered for tickets to his tour…

NO - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

Conservative columnist: I wish for the other side to run candidates that have policies I agree with, please. I shall, meanwhile, pretend I have other issues with them, just like how I pretend to be “Independent”.

Interested in taking a peek behind the curtain of comedy-horror podcasts? I spoke to Andrew Dickson and Nicholas Alexander about producing #GhoulGuide & about creating horror, comedy and podcasts. 🎙️👻novel.audio/editorials/spo…

The Curse Continues: A Fifth Mule Has Drowned In The New England Aquarium’s Mule Tank clickhole.com/the-curse-cont…

Are we sure Elon Musk’s dad didn’t have a *chaos* emerald mine?

Well, this is lovely. This morning's special episode of #HeyDuggee was called 'The Welcome Badge' and saw Duggee welcome some new friends all the way from Ukraine - Mavka and Swampy the Kittyfrog from Ukrainian animation, Mavka: The Forest Song. Woof! 🇺🇦👋 youtube.com/watch?v=-rNKzz…