My 4 year old just said, 'my big brother told me that a whole kid was eaten at Chunky Cheese'.

And now it will forever be called Chunky Cheeses.

#chuckycheese #kidssaythebestthings

Watched Alone on Netflix and now I'm never sleeping again, and I'm pretty sure my anxiety will never recover.

10/10 must watch.

#alone #Netflix #MustWatch
Netflix

I hope whoever originally posted that they were shocked KITKAT never did a Ross and Rachel break commercial should get a huge cut of that super bowl ad money
#SuperBowl #wewereonabreak #rossandrachel

Okay that Peppa Pig, Josh Allen and Beavis and Butthead commercial got me 😂😂😂😂 #ParamountPlus #PeppaPig

How do you forget a whole ass kid? #HomeAlone

You guys, I control the music at work.

I found a playlist that is 25 versions of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” We are on the sixth version and not a single person has noticed.

I love this for me.

This is not the sort of thing I commonly do, this pitch. But this year is different. And tomorrow is Giving Tuesday. Do what you can; he would have been grateful. matthewperryfoundation.org

If you sat through a Jack Harlow halftime show you are eligible for compensation.

Jack Black you know you want to marry my best friend and her husband in Vegas on all Hallow's Eve...dressed as Elvis...with all the belly dance moves you have (thinking those Peaches I Love You vibes). Doesn't hurt to ask 🤷‍♀️ #youaresoloved #fairytalesdocometrue

Could I BE anymore sad

#matthewperry

Fundraiser for Anonymous Victim : Support a Victim of Domestic Abuse gofund.me/ac06e90d

#DomesticAbuse #domesticviolence

Did you know this?

Billy Joel never sells tickets to the front rows of his concerts.

Aside from wanting to beat the scalpers, he got tired of all the bored rich people staring up at him.

“They don’t stand up, make noise, [they just] sit there,” he said.

So now, he sends…

Please help a DV survivor if you can. Starting completely over is immeasurably hard. gofund.me/7ab5edaf
#DomesticViolence #DomesticAbuse

Yesterday I asked my kindergartener what she did in school and she said 'nothing,' then later I went on Instagram and her teacher had posted a picture of her holding a crocodile.

Just posted a photo instagram.com/p/Cp2y2HrrakE/…

Just posted a photo instagram.com/p/CpiXFJXJfZA/…

Just posted a photo instagram.com/p/CpKuJqAMsN6/…