Musk is launching 72 of the 0 features that anyone asked for.

I still can't believe NFTs were real. It's become an intrusive thought

Remember rich people helicopter taxi Blade? It now makes more than half its revenue from transporting organs. #PivotToOrgans sherwood.news/business/blade… Jack Raines

The only good news

NEWS: My friends and I now own and run The Onion. I’ll be the CEO.

We’re keeping the entire staff, bringing back The Onion News Network, and share the wealth with staff.

Basically, we’re going to let them do whatever they want. Get excited.

nytimes.com/2024/04/25/bus…

Rani Molla Sara Fischer G/O Media The Onion The LLC is 9 days old. 'Four digital media veterans with a profound love for The Onion and comedy-based content' per Spanfeller's statement, tetrahedron has four points, etc.

So according to The Onion’s Wikipedia page for its book, Global Tetrahedron is a running gag about a multinational behemoth, which definitely sounds like a villain company en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Dumb_…

lol

If you're doing math at home:

It will cost $58.3 million so that libraries can stay open on Saturdays (after closing on Sundays due to previous Eric Adams cuts).

Instead, Adams is giving the NYPD $62.4 million to hire 1,200 new cops.

Check that out!

hellgatenyc.com/eric-adams-bud…

Did Google Search get notably worse again in the past few days??? Can’t even find news stories from yesterday I know exist.

Tesla was not actually a car company at all; “fundamentally, it’s just the wrong framework,” Musk said, with maximum condescension. In fact, “we should be thought of as an AI or robotics company.”

Columbia University’s president hasn’t talked to the editors of Columbia’s student newspaper in over six months.

Whoever is advising Shafik to do that is making a huge mistake.

cjr.org/the_media_toda…

‘I have seen food crises that killed hundreds of thousands referred to as “shortages,” “difficulties,” or “near-famine conditions.”’— Yan Slobodkin slate.com/news-and-polit…

Gaza famine: What debates over Palestinians in extreme hunger during the Israel-Hamas war are missing. slate.com/news-and-polit…

IS THERE A CONSPIRACY OF OUTSIDE AGITATORS FUELING PROTESTS IN NYC AS LLEGED BY NYPD NEWS AND Mayor Eric Adams????

OR ARE COLLEGE KIDS JUST BUYING THE CHEAPEST, MOST DISPOSABLE TENTS????

A Hell Gate *subscribe today!* INVESTIGATION

hellgatenyc.com/mayor-adams-ou…

Threads now has 150 million monthly users, @zuck says on Meta earnings call today. That’s up from almost 100 million users in October. How bout them daily users tho? theverge.com/2024/4/24/2413…