A lot of people reading this feel like they're 'a lot to handle.'' We might've been told this-- or we might get that message from peoples' behavior toward us.

I dunno, maybe you ARE 'a lot.' I know *I* am.

So?

Our needs & reactions are STILL real, valid & important.

Admitted to a friend I'm struggling. 2 wks of grief, anger, pain of betrayal - all triggers for past internalized trauma. Big step for me - to trust enough to ask for help? She yelled at me. Told me I needed 'tough love' & to stop 'wallowing' and 'get over it'. Learned my lesson.

You can try, but there will be no taming of the shrew. She'll lure you in with her #foxy style and breathtaking beauty, then tear you to pieces with her cunning manipulations. Don't you see? You're only a game to her. You'll love play-time, but can you handle the pain? #vss365

'I'm disappointed in you, Haskins.'

'Oh come on sir, it was a joke'

'It was crude.'

'It was funny.'

'And immature.'

'Because chasing a fox on a horse is so grown up, sir.'

'And I've told you about swearing.'

'I simply asked that hunter chap where the #foxy going?'

#vss365

Poeticize your mountains & your cowboys. Pry your lyrics from the cold, dead claws of the grizzly. I’ll kiss you in a time of wildfire, name you #foxy with my heart open & my eyes closed. Hold my hand on the north fork; breathe at last in the quiet after a skipped stone. #vss365

'What colour should we paint our office walls, Haskins?'

'How about #timberwolf , sir?'

'I meant a real colour.'

'It is a real colour.'

'Rubbish, it's a pigment of your imagination.'

'Well, perhaps you ought to hue-mer me, sir.'

'I feel like I just dyed a little.'

#vss365

Beneath a #timberwolf sky, she steps ashore. Ocean slides from her in salt teardrops, as broken promises fall from fingers. Something unwanted stands upon slicing rocks, bleeding shallow regrets. It was left at a party she never wanted to attend, not worth retrieving.
#vss365

He let his mane of hair the color of #timberwolf blow in the blistering cold wind. His stormy eyes turned in my direction, and something within me broke free. Dangerous, perhaps lethal. Which only made me love him harder, want him more. #vss365

I've been lovin' Brandi Carlile's new album - and this song? K'Cee - it reminds me of you and your beautiful writing! Bad ass!

Broken Horses
youtube.com/watch?v=odZCQh…

Grandma hid #butterscotch candies in the pockets of her jacket. I smelled them on the sticky, sweet kisses she planted on my cheek. Taking my hand in hers, I learned the names of trees & flowers. Pansies w/ smiling faces were her favorite. I remember what love felt like. #vss365

The richness of the #butterscotch sunsets, heated bodies, pregnant virgin breasts, incandescent spaces between the skin & white shirts, your head turned towards the sea, a rose between your teeth, my love, the day of the judgment is not here, let’s die again.

#vss365
#poem

She tucked drops of dough the color of raw #umber into the oven & waited for cinnamon & turmeric to season the air.

His nose would sweat later as he ate & their kisses would feel laced with magic.

Blinded by spice & flesh, he’d not notice the real spell she’d cast.

#vss365

A brown dress the muse exclaimed. Bland base bog colour, you offend me!
No, my love #umber
Shadows from the earth foundations of our interior world
Humble backdrop of the keen eyed thrush & natural delights
Expressively inexpressive
Solemnity from which your light shines #vss365

A soft kiss
A whisper
Tender touches
And my #umber mood
Lifted
Replaced by
The verdant colors of
Hope
#vss365

I made it through the week - worked every day, managed the grief and disbelief of her final act of cruelty -- and then yesterday, slept for 24 hours. Betrayal is exhausting.

#umber nightmares
roar like thunder
I unlatch the shutters

#vss365

What did you look like in 2014?

One of my best years - free and happily divorced!

Things were going great until he called her his #muse .
She hadn’t #forgotten her AFAB training: Behind every (great) man stands a great woman.
She rejected being man’s inspiration.
She wud have a lover who stood beside her.
Alone was greater than less than herself.

#2wordprompt

I #communicate
and commune with the stars
a haven
and heaven sitting inside my heart —
#relatable

yet, not at all

a #disconnection
breeding #rest -lessness
and contentment
are shadows speaking in tongues
leaving behind
a viscerally experienced mosaic
sun

#vss365 #poetry #poem

She wore shades of #umber to highlight her flaming red hair and ice-cold blue eyes. I saw nothing but shit-brown & a heart filled w/ mud. I chose the soothing colors of water and sky and filled my life with blues and greens. I chose to soar, not crawl in her dirt. #vss365