I'm feeling called out 🫠

Privilege is when you think something is not a problem because you are not affected by it.

Privilege is also when you think you are the solution of a problem, even though others are more educated and experienced at solving it.

Privilege is about centering yourself, above all.

When you leave abusive situations, there is a high probability you will be astonished by others offering you the bare minimum… that you don’t know is the bare minimum yet.

Which is natural!! But don’t cling too hard to it. Always believe there is better for you out there.

'Healing also involves distancing ourselves from relationships where we find ourselves tirelessly fighting to be seen, heard, and respected. It's not selfish. It's wisdom.' ~Taylor Grismore

You can leave the harmful situation without waiting for all the details. When your intuition is telling you something is wrong, that’s enough information. Trust yourself.

me, a victim-survivor: *posts about my own lived experience of the harmful ways (some) mental health professionals have responded to victims-survivors' disclosures*

a mental health professional, suddenly entering my mentions: 'Why do I feel like we’re getting 1/2 of the story?'

for me, learning about D.A.R.V.O. gave me the language to first define (& later communicate) my experiences with my abusers & their enablers.

finally having access to these (once ambiguous) concepts was key (& an important starting point) to my recovery & healing.

May you embrace the sacredness of “no.”

Honor yourself with the gift of boundaries.

Protect your peace.

still reeling from the realization that the people / spaces which I believed were safe were, in fact, the people / spaces that I had to save myself from.

currently having to find a refuge from what I felt was a refuge is . . . a lot.

Someone should not have to be the “perfect” victim with the perfectly palatable story and the perfect recall memory in order to be believed and taken seriously when they disclose the abuse they’ve experienced.

as a victim-survivor, learning how to trust myself & believe in my lived experiences have been an especially difficult part of my own journey.

Childhood neglect is a complex traumatic stressor.

The access of disabled people should not be regulated by the ableism of nondisabled people.

Only if you feel safe sharing:

Has anyone reported a mental health professional to their licensing board? How did you prepare? Did you take any steps before reporting? What was the process like? How difficult, etc. was it for you? Were you satisfied, etc. with the results?

Never feel bad for prioritizing rest.

Your health comes first always.

Masking in #ActuallyAutistic folx isn’t just hiding who we are.

It’s a response to societal demands for conformity.

Let’s shift the focus from changing autistic people to changing the environments that demand masking.

You were not abused because you “deserve” abuse. You were not neglected because you “deserve” neglect.

I’ll tell you what you DO deserve: the opportunity to feel and function better.

You DO deserve safety.

You DO deserve dignity.

You DO deserve freedom.

When you’ve been gaslit extensively as a part of relational trauma—especially betrayal trauma—it can be SO hard to sort out what is accurate intuition that something is happening vs what is just anxiety and specific triggers. You’re not crazy or alone in struggling with that.

Allistic research says autistics have moral rigidity, or black and white thinking, like that's a bad thing, but what that means is that we apply our values universally, to everyone, no matter what our stake in it is.

for me, a lifetime (so far) of trauma makes me feel like 'self-love' may be out of my reach.

but as I attempt some important healing work, I think that self-knowledge, self-compassion, self-care, self-forgiveness, self-advocacy may be within my reach, & perhaps that is enough?