I literally started comedy because I watched this loser bomb a set so hard that it made me go “oh, anyone can do this”

get you a girlfriend that sends you cute morning texts ❤️

pennybird casually screaming at the top of his lungs

Embarrassing! Woman Thinks Her Dreams Will Come True With a Little Hard Work: ow.ly/9kPR50Rosxr

wrote this headline for anyone who remembers walking away from their final spelling bee not knowing it would be their last

Cops when little kids are being murdered in their school vs cops when college students are protesting a genocide

Woman Knows She Could Just Fuck Up a Spelling Bee Right Now: ow.ly/e6EF50Rnv0U

i hate how easy advertising works on me. the tv will just show me some chicken and i’ll be like “hmmm i think i want some chicken”

It’s always so funny watching news outlets try to spin protests by publishing headlines like “AGGRESSIVELY PEACEFUL PROTESTS TURN VIOLENTLY CALM AND RESPECTFUL”

REPORT: Just Because Fake Plant Doesn't Need Water Doesn't Mean It Wouldn't Like Some: ow.ly/k4sJ50RlEgW

You seem like a person who’s never worked in customer service (derogatory)

How to Be More Comfortable Making Strong Choices on Stage Even Though Your Parents Made You Choose in Court bit.ly/49Mh4k2

it’s so endearing to hear someone laugh like goofy. yuck it up friend!

Kim Kardashian Releases Diss Swimwear Collection in Response to Taylor Swift's New Song: ow.ly/WIiR50Rk0S6

wrote this one for all my people who judge books by their cover

Oh No! Book You Wanted to Read Has Cover With Ugly Font: ow.ly/M9n350RixeF

Dormant Finsta From 2015 Now a Relic of a Bygone Era When Woman Was Fun: ow.ly/QlMT50RgBEj

gossip girl is the perfect background show when ur home alone bc it’s like ok there are girls gossiping here. i’m safe

Woman Goes Blind After Looking Boss Directly in the Eyes for Too Long: ow.ly/U9IL50ReArA

Almost walked directly into this flawless spiderweb. I was scared at first, but now I’m just marveling at their impeccable craftsmanship